I wonder why one cannot be perfectly content at any one time. It seems to me that no area in my life can all be smooth sailing together at the same time. 

nothing is ever fair. and the thing is I hate myself for hoping that things would be.

if only everyone around me can be filled with kindness without any malice of any sort. stop poisoning others' minds with your own twisted sense of reality. if only.

"just mind your own business and fulfil your own job obligations. don't do anything extra." 

bottom line is, don't care so much. maybe thats why people have kids. to fill their lives with the type of innocence that most adults have lost, or required to lose in order to survive in this harsh world. its one heck of a vicious cycle.

I feel like throwing something every time I look in the mirror fts!!!!!!!!!

Note to self:

1. NEVER go for free stuff. the cons ALWAYS outweigh the pros.

2. ALWAYS ask the terms and conditions before commiting to anything.

3. Hair treatment should NEVER be saved on.

cannot believe I need a whole head of bleached virgin hair to reach this conclusion, and the colour is not even of my own choice.

REGRET MAX.

sometimes the problem I feel is, when you're too close to your other half, when things go wrong or if you feel upset, you don't really have anyone to turn to because you've pushed everyone away by being constantly together with one person.

it isn't a bad thing, but it isn't very healthy either. I do have a strong support system of friends, but sometimes texting isn't enough, and those who I do want to talk to are not always available at the moment I need them most.

I don't want to write in public anymore, short of airing dirty linen in public, but where do I then find words of support without being judged in private? so I turn back to my old trustworthy blog, where I hope my constant lack of updates means nobody except for those who really care will read about it, and perhaps give me a virtual hug.

I have not posted anything for so long, I guess it's a blessing in disguise. not posting means I am happy, or at least not so unhappy until I have to pour my feelings online. but even now, I don't really have the words to express this root of sadness or disappointment in my heart.

I just want to tell myself, God knows best.
船到桥头自然直。
不要执着，不要担心。
just keep calm and smile. 😃