revelations

Change. It's imminent isn't it? It has to happen, for things to move on, to develop into something else, to break the monotony and dullness of doing the same, endless routine everyday. 

My last post of 2010, was about thoughts of, not being able to really know someone and not being able to trust them fully. But I guess it's not that I don't know them, I just didn't realize it when they changed because the change was so gradual. And somehow, I've just told myself to accept it.  Because I can change myself as well, to like the new them. :) Or, I will just change how I feel towards them. Maybe like them less. That's also an option. Whatever makes me happy. 

 

Nobody can be perfectly good. Recently I can find myself feel offended at some whom I thought can never ever do anything to offend me. Shows how naive I can get. Or maybe I'm getting more sensitive than I thought =/  

I love the fairy-lights! So pretty! And I love this memory. I've been pretty-much happy the past week. Course, there were some down-times as well but they don't last long because...I just can't stay angry for long. Which is good. For my mental health. And the happy memories are the only ones I will remember. :)

Christmas Eve dinner!

Thanks to my "new" neighbours and housemate :) There was good ole' turkey, mash potato, salad, mushroom soup, tiramisu and gingerbread cookies.

Christmas lunch!

With my current favourite people in the world :) 

Boxing day!

Went out by myself. Not to shop, just to see how crazy boxing day sales in Glasgow can be. And to use my new Christmas present! Ngahaha. Too bad no picture of myself. I realize I'm back to my teenage days, where I rather spend money on books and games rather than on clothes or make-up on myself. Argh. But my laptop disc reader is spoilt and I can no longer play computer games. Big SIGH. Was thinking of replaying my final fantasy games but oh well... Oh well, maybe I can get Cecilia Ahern's new books! It's been long since I read a proper book...instead of reading from the computer or something.

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Don't know why I always end up blogging early in the morning now. I guess this will be my last post of the year. So, Happy New Year in advance! 

"Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on

Try to have fun in the meantime"

3am random ramblings which I might probably delete when I am sober...[edited]

Sleep..is a funny thing. If you don't get enough of it, you'd accumulate a sleep debt, which eventually you'd have to pay by catching up on all the extra hours of sleeping. And if you get too much of it, you can't sleep when you really want to. 

Either I can't sleep because I had too much of it yesterday (16 hours to be exact, but I was sick), or there's too many things that's running through my mind , or that I'm hungry. Whatever it is, I am now drinking instant soup at 3am and trying to relieve some of the things that have been running through my mind by blogging. {I might delete this later, (I edited it already! censor all the parts I wouldn't really say if I thought twice) who knows, I don't think I'm awake enough to be blogging at 3am, but I can't sleep either, so this is like drunk-typing. Also I don't want people to think this is the only post I update. Please see the previous post with all the pretty Christmas pictures}.

Nah! I still feel very sober okay! Maybe there's some presence in my room that's keeping me from sleeping. I just found a weird photo of a girl on my shelf which I'm positive I haven't seen before (I know I'm messy, but I'm 100% sure I haven't seen it before until today) and it's next to the umbrella which somebody previously left in this room and which seemed too good to throw away, yet I don't use it. Course, the next possibility that ran through my mind is that the photo is of someone who isn't alive (please don't let it be true) and that her spirit possessed the umbrella. Maybe her photo was placed there by the V.O. workers who were pissed at me because they had to come in on their Christmas break to fix my stupid door handle which broke off earlier during the day. I don't feel like throwing the photo away in case her spirit comes back for revenge or something. So it's just sitting there, next to the umbrella.....How?! 

See! I told you I start spouting weird things at 3 in the morning!

My room's boiling hot now. Why's it so weird? It was super cold before. Or maybe I just had soup. See, I'm digressing. Okay, I think I'm finally knackered enough to go and sleep. Tata! Merry Xmas to all!

I was slightly happy before, but who knew that one sentence could negate everything I felt? Sadly, I can never feel angry for long...

A very UK Christmas!

Have to resist typing a smiley face after the name of each post. I noticed I did that for every last entry! So Christmas is in 2 days time *excited!* The last Christmas I am celebrating as an undergrad student! *sad face* I didn't go overseas this winter because I am so so tired of travelling (I dunno why, the France trip kinda drained all my enthusiasm and energy for travelling...) and I prefer feeling cosy in Glasgow. So pictures!! 

Christmas in Glasgow:

Christmas in Edinburgh:

my favourite food of the night! chocolate spread crepe. I love the fries too but I don't have a picture of that. We were all too busy gobbling it down. Food always taste nicer when shared :)

Inside The Elephant House! (like finally..see how J.K Rowling got her Potter inspiration =p)

Chocolate brownie again!! I never get sick of chocolate :) [I almost did on this day but now no!]

We finally meet in UK! Gahahaha

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I like the rainbow-y colour :)

Sometimes, a good cry is all that will make the heartache go away. And a thicker skin.
P.S: I need a parachute. 

this song makes me :)

I don't mind your odd behaviour

It's the very thing I savor

If you were an ice-cream flavour

You would be my favourite one :)

Oh, I've loved you from the start

In every single way

And more each passing day

You are brighter than the stars

Believe me when I say

It's not about your scars

It's all about your heart

A night to remember :)

I'm a very happy and lucky girl tonight :)

Because I finally saw the first meteor in my life! It's not exactly a shower, just something like the picture below (credits to Alan Dyer):

They say the Geminid meteor showers are one of the best meteor displays of the year, and to lie under the chilly night sky with friends, screaming and pointing to the night-sky whenever we spotted a meteor, is something I never ever want to forget. I think we lay there for 1.5 hours, from 11.30pm till 1am. And the night was surprisingly clear. But it was super cold. 4 degrees. If it wasn't so cold, I would have lay there longer, but my feet were just freezing. But I think we saw about..6-7 bright meteors. It's okay. At least we saw them together, that's the best part! [the 3 of us kept screaming and brought many others out, haha so paiseh]

 

P.S: Thanks to Khai Qian whose status encouraged Li Ying and Amy to come out crazy with me. Everyone thinks that meteors are really so difficult to see but I think patience and good-timing is all that's required. I'm so happy!!! (I actually wanted to meteor-watch since a few days ago when my friends in India and even my SISTER keep bragging to me that they saw meteors. But I finally saw them tonight! They said it actually peaked last night but last night's wind was horrible, can't go out at all)

P.P.S: My next must-see spectacular nature display are the Northern Lights.

P.P.P.S: If wishes on shooting stars come true.... I hope they do :) 

P.P.P.P.S: Sorry Choo Wei and Zi Fen, it was a spontaneous last-minute decision to see the meteors and we did hope you two could watch with us!

P.P.P.P.P.S: Happy birthday Alex :)


Shooting stars are so magical. One minute they're there, the next they're gone, like they never even existed. But for the split second they're there, appreciate their beauty. (I was so excited I couldn't even wish properly. But I'd love to think deep down in my heart, o' wishing star would know what I want)
I never wanted your heart. I just want to protect mine...

First snowfall of 2011 :)

So here I am again, blogging for the sake of..blogging. Someone complained my blog no pictures anymore, you wanna know why? Because my life is dull!! (and happening stuff requires money to happen, so no happening stuff means I'm not spending money okay! Shouldn't you be glad? -.- Nah, staying at home also can spend money la but how can I take pics of my online shopping purchases unless they arrive already? Oooops) Okay la, promise promise that I will go out to snap some pics once holidays have officially started. Also, I don't bring my camera everywhere with me to snap pics of happening stuff, the only pics I have that I will soon post were all snapped using my phone. So they may not be as clear as the camera. (Oh but SGSII is still awesome ok)

Happening stuff that happened since..the last time I blogged, which was a week ago:

4/12/2011

- Went out dining for once! (okay la, I notice we dine out at least once a month, but see, I told you happening stuff needs money, I spent 14 pounds on this day) at Alla Turca, a turkish food restaurant. 

P.S: Turkish delights are really disgusting. Why did I ever think I would like them! I liked them better in chocolates. Not alone as a dish. 

My main course - Barbequed Lamb, Chicken, Adana Kofte & Lamb Chop with Turkish Rice & Signature Salad

See, my phone focused on the lamb chop because that's the best part.

The only decent picture of us. Nobody else brought cameras to take any photos but trust me when I said there were 8 of us that night. Even though I only took a photo with one.

 It was super cold that night. Zero degrees. Guess why. Because it was going to snow!! Well, actually it had been raining sleet some time before but that night after leaving F8, it finally snowed properly, like the first significant snowfall this year. And since Glasgow actually seldom snow, that's saying something. Last year was an exception where it snowed particularly bad. But this November has been pretty mild like I said before.

I witnessed the first significant snowfall firsthand! Like really walking back then it just started snowing.
And even though the special feeling of this memory might fade in the future (maybe due to the benefit of hindsight, or the magical properties of time which sometimes causes amnesia, at least these moments mean something to me now)

Both views outside my window! Tbh, there won't even be any pictures if I wasn't whatsapping a friend at the time and wanted to show him that it was snowing. Because there were too many snow pictures last year, the novelty has just worn off. But, I couldn't resist showing him that it was snowing just then because it doesn't snow in Msia. The marvels of technology. Bwahaha. (Things do happen when you least expect them. I woke up to a winter wonderland! But the weather forecast was also right this time) =D

Went to Glasgow's Christmas Market at St Enoch! I didn't take many pictures of the market because the weather was horrible the first time and the second time, there just wasn't enough time. No worries, I will go a 3rd time by myself to take more pictures. But I still liked the first visit best. :) Profiteroles with baileys and cream and sugar! Awesome possum. 

Super duper love my current live wallpaper!! You can't see from here but the Christmas tree lights blink and snow's falling in the background. I can just simply switch my phone display on just to see the pretty wallpaper :)

I also survived the worst gale ever to hit UK since..I dunno when. (Edit: Wiki said 10 years. Ok then) They just said it was pretty bad. On the 8th of December, where winds up to 265km/h were blowing, uni was cancelled and I just pretty much stay holed up in my room all day. Gee, what fun. Still, thank God the electricity didn't got cut, and no lives were lost.
Sometimes, when I think that I care too much, I show that I don't care because...caring makes one vulnerable and I suppose showing that I don't care makes me the one with more power. To not be hurt. But of course it doesn't work that easily. Oh well, hopefully with time, I can convince myself that I really do not care after all and just grow up. I do a pretty good job of convincing myself already that sometimes doing things alone and being alone is best.

Christmassy December!

With deadlines and class tests out of the way, there's only one more week till the mid-semester break and Christmas in 3 weeks!! And temperatures have been dipping =( though to be honest, winter's late compared to last year. Amazing how the temperature can fall suddenly, from 10 degrees a few days ago to just 4 degrees now; I've forgotten how my hands can get frozen in such temperatures =/  Actually, I have nothing much to blog about recently, but well nothing much happens so late in the semester anyway because there's just too many deadlines and class tests to fuss about. Just a short update in my life:

My recent favourite musician:

 Wedding dress and River flows in you! 2 of my favourite songs, especially since I used to try it out on piano ages ago..I really miss playing the piano now. Nvm, 7 or 8 more months till I get to see you dear piano :) This mash-up is awesome, and the violinist, so cute when he started to dance halfway through, and I don't usually like violin music cuz I think it sounds screechy but maybe I've been listening to really bad violin playing because this does not sound screechy at all. (He so cute in his panda hat)

My recent favourite drama:

Once Upon a Time

A fairy-tale classic with a modern retelling. So far the plot is really cool! Its a story of how the Evil Queen cast a curse on all the fairytale characters and took their happy endings away by sending them to our world - the real world where no happy endings exist. (how can our world be portrayed like that? so sad) and no characters remember their real history, until the one destined to break the curse arrives - Snow White's daughter, who was brought there by her son. [ I still wonder how the young boy knows about the curse ]Anyway there's no really young, hot guys to drool over here, but the plot is enough to keep me interested

The weather is actually forecasting tomorrow to be a snowy day! But I rather..not to rely on the forecast. Don't you think it's nicer to wake up and just find everything covered in white snow, like some magical wonderland? Without the expectations of relying on the forecast and getting disappointed if it doesn't come true. If only it can snow, without the winds being so strong. Then winter would actually be fun.

 - my current phone display! in case it does snow tomorrow :)

I miss this; just one more year!! :-

Turning Page

I realized I didn't discuss the Breaking Dawn OST, but only one song really made an impression on me. The song that played when Bella was walking down the aisle :) 

The instrumental version is beautiful and really fits the scene.

But overall, since the composer is the same as the first Twilight movie, Carter Burwell, some of the other music took back the same elements as the first movie. Brings back a lot of memories really, not memories of Twilight, but the year I listened to those songs - 2009. Nice memories :)

Turning Page by Sleeping at Last. Very beautiful and fantasy-like. I can't put a finger on how I feel exactly when I listen to it but I think it really describes the scene when Bella was walking down the aisle, and how everyone was watching her, and her dad finally placed her hand in Edward's hand, very defining moment for him. His little girl is all grown up. :(
And also a life-changing moment for Bella. Getting married. Committing to someone else for the rest of her life, sharing her future together with someone she loves. No measure of time with you will be long enough. But lets start with forever.

if only i had felt how it feels to be yours,

well, i would have known what i've been living for all along.

P.S: Sorry for all the Breaking Dawn related posts, but my life is really boring right now with studying for an upcoming class test and various other stressful stuff. TT. If you get my drift.   i fear i'm in too deep. i'm afraid. how do i pull out?

Breaking Dawn

Without my usual fix of Vampire Diaries (next episode on Jan 5th, groan), guessed what I watched instead - Breaking Dawn! 

Warning: I'm going to write a long-winded and detailed post about Breaking Dawn, so any Twilight haters, please go away, and for any Twilight fans, who have not watched the movie, please go away too if you don't want me to spoil it for you, thank you :)

My favourite moment

Edward: "Nobody can be more traditional than me."

How can I not love him when he is based utterly and wholly on Gilbert Blythe of Anne of Green Gables? 

the way he called her Mrs Cullen after, sweet :)

I did claim that I'm no longer a Twilight fan, but...I hated how cynical and unnecessarily harsh and biased I sounded on my review of Eclipse last year. Was I trying so hard to prove how much I don't ship the Twilight series anymore, just so that I don't get any snide and hurtful comments from haters? Sigh. I don't like who I've become anymore since then. What's wrong with liking Edward? He's a nice guy; well, except for the stalker-ish, overly-protective side of him as described in the book, but at least he's nice. He's not an abusive jerk who hurts the girl he loves, like Chuck or Damon. He's nice, just like Stefan! Why did I not like him anymore and instead fall for all the mean sarcastic guys who sometimes make their girl feel small by saying really hurtful stuff? (Okay, in the past laa..I think Chuck and Damon are nicer now in their current storyline)

Anyway, I didn't want to watch Breaking Dawn in the cinema, because honestly, it's my least favourite book out of all the 4 books because Bella turned so horny, and then she became pregnant, and then a mom - things I couldn't relate to at all. Horny how? She cried just because she couldn't continue her sex dream!! -.- And Jacob imprinted on her daughter. It's sick, but then again, if I were Bella, I'd probably be glad, because at least I know my future son-in-law already. I mean, doesn't every parent want their child to end up with someone nice? And now Bella knows in advance that her daughter will always have her best friend to look out for her! So it really is kind of a happy ending for her.

Regardless, the movie was actually sort of nice. Very faithful to the book. And the acting has really improved. Everyone says Kristen doesn't know how to act, but of course, if you see those critics who only take photos of her that one same expression and claim that that's the expression she always has, well, they just didn't want to see the whole picture. She definitely has a lot of expressions in this movie, from happy, to angry, to sad. Plus she doesn't lip-bite anymore. Edward also has more personality! And Taylor is the perfect Jacob. I couldn't see much of the wolf-pack though because they act in really dark scenes, and of course everyone knows how poor quality new movies have through streaming, dark scenes basically = black. So I couldn't actually see any of the wolf-pack scenes properly, or the fighting scene in the end that took place in the dark.

But I say their acting has really improved, especially Robert, because after the birth scene when he was trying to save Bella, I really felt kind of sad, because he was so desperate to save her, and she just lay there looking dead. Good job! Btw, Edward didn't glitter at all, even under the sun, and I didn't even notice! So much for continuity with the book's character, lol.

I did laugh at a few wrong places though... which incidentally, I can't remember what. Still, it's not a bad movie. I guess maybe I just have to admit this, I am a fan. Albeit a very wrong sort of fan who doesn't support their merchandise by buying the books or going to the cinema to watch this movie =/ But who cares about the opinions of those who would ridicule me on being a fan? I don't care, can't care, anymore. Because I don't like who I've turned into these past 2 years after not being a fan and being so cynical and negative to dreams and fantasies. I want to find who I was when I was 18 again. It's not going backwards, I just thought I was a better person then. Better view of the world. Happier. Childlike innocence. Naiveness. Not so reality-driven. I don't like reality. I guess I like living in denial after all. But who cares, as long as I'm happy right.

P.S: I haven't lost sight of my dreams. I've just changed the object of my ambitions. :) -Anne Shirley-inspired

P.P.S: I don't know why I feel the need to clarify this but I'm not talking about my love life (or lack of it) in anything I've mentioned in posts/statuses/whatever. I have more important issues to think about. Like my final year project. Or the countless assignments coming up. Or upcoming exams. TQVM

"Bella, we're supposed to be partners, remember? But you decided this on your own, you decided to leave me. I have no other way to see it because it's me that'll lose you. And I don't choose that." ~ My favourite Edward line. On why he doesn't want Bella to have the baby. And you can't blame him really. He was practically watching Bella die the whole movie trying to have the baby. :'(
But he doesn't understand what Bella, or even I, understand, that it's really hard to give up on something when you thought that it's all you ever wanted. I know that all Bella ever wanted before was Edward, but to have his child, the child of someone you love, I guess that's different on a whole new level which I haven't understand, yet. 

Cravings

Caring- displaying concern or interest for others or a particular issue.

But, what are the right things to care about and how much is too much?

I don't want to stop caring, I just want to find the perfect balance.

On a sidenote, I want to eat snowflakes!! No, not the white, powdery type, but this:

So near yet so far.

Desolation

Must...churn...out...3000..words...for...introduction.

Must...not...appear...online...on Skype...until...I've done so.

Result? A whole day with no human communication (okay, I cheated slightly and whatsapped Xin Wei, else I will go crazy with boredom; what to do, I don't even have Choo Wei knocking on my room door to kacau anymore...) and a 10% progress on my introduction.

Aargh.

I'm going crazy.

~once upon a time, i couldn't let you go~

Finally...

21! What a great age eh? This is probably the last birthday I'll be celebrating together with my uni-mates so...all the more to remember what we did! Which was just a nice dinner in a posh restaurant (Mediterraneo) on the 8th, to celebrate Amy's birthday as well. And tiramisu! My favourite, thanks Li Ying, and all the rest who went to get the ingredients :) I spent the entire 9th doing my clinical attachment in hospital, what joy :) Although tbh, birthdays...are nothing special to me. It's just another day. I mean technically, I'm not just 21 on this day, I'm 21 everyday after the 9th...Oh but thanks to Xin Ning, I received the first ever parcel since I got here! Yes I am THAT pathetic. Couldn't for the life of me guess who would have sent me something because I never gave out my new semester address to anybody. Not even my parents know =p because, I don't need/want anything to be sent over from Msia. Best surprise of the day, thanks a lot my dearest =) 

us :) okay, no complete picture without the photographer so photographer is below..hehe

center summore!!

Sorry Rui-En, no pictures of food for you to drool over because I didn't take any!

My presents! I mentioned in a previous blogpost that actually Xin Wei and Hui Lynn already gave me a smurf toy right? As an early present. My uni-mates gave me costume jewellery. You guys know me so well! Because I love costume jewellery =p 

  

What's a birthday without a birthday card? Thanks a lot Xin Ning! 你真有我心 :')

Honey-senpai from Ouran High School Host Club! I really forgot how much I used to love anime. 
Especially Inuyasha and Ouran. Inuyasha my first love! When I was 16...Miss you. My old blog used to be full of you, ahaha. Remember Leng? Cuz only you really read my old blog often..lol. But MSN spaces is gone forever already, and so are those posts...

Okay, since such a special date is coming up, 11-11-11, I'll schedule this post to be posted then. What shall I wish for?

Let's just say, 21 already, I don't wanna be so childish lar. Don't want to keep dreaming, thinking or talking about futile stuff or waste my time on them. Must be more positive! Believe in my guardian angel again. And yes Xin Wei, I used your wishing stars to make the symbol above!! I miss you guys, the 6 of us! Let's wish for an awesome future together alright?

P.S: Is this font better Amy? Lol. Btw I set the font to be bigger but I have no idea why is it still so tiny....